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Frequently Asked Questions

The legal information on this page is designed to help you learn about the laws that apply when you want to end your marriage in Washington (known as a "marital dissolution" or "dissolution of marriage"). It will give you an overview of the law and help you decide what type of case you need to file in court. This page is intended for persons who want to file a dissolution of marriage (petitioner) or persons who have been served with dissolution of marriage papers (respondent) and have questions concerning procedure.

If at all possible, you should meet with an attorney who specializes in family law before you file anything in court. If either you or your spouse has a lot of money or property, or you have been married a long time, or your spouse is going to disagree with any part of what you are requesting, you should talk with an attorney. Even if you cannot afford to hire an attorney to file your case, you should talk at least once with an attorney to get advice about your situation. 

Section 1.  Divorce or Separation?
     1. What is a Marital Dissolution?
     2. What relief may I get in a Marital Dissolution?
     3. How is a Marital Dissolution different from a Legal Separation?
     4. May I get an Annulment instead of a Divorce?

Section 2.  Where to file for my Divorce
     1. May I file a Marital Dissolution in Washington?
     2. What if one spouse has never lived in Washington?
     3. What if I cannot find my spouse?
     4. What if my spouse is a Native American who lives on an Indian reservation?
     5. What should I do if I have been served with a Dissolution and I don't think my case should be in Washington?
     6. In which county should my Dissolution be filed?
     7. What if the children have not always lived in Washington?

Section 3.  Length of a Divorce proceding
     1. How long will a Divorce take?

Section 4.  I was served with Divorce papers. The next steps.
     1. What should I do if I'm served with Divorce papers?

Section 5:  Court Orders
     1. What if I need a court order sooner than 90 days?
     2. What is a Temporary Order?
     3. Do I need a Temporary Order?
     4. Do I need an Emergency Order?
     5. What if I want to change my Temporary Order?
     6. What if your Spouse has hurt you or the children?
     7. What is a Guardian Ad Litem and a Parenting Evaluator?

Section 6:  Court decisions on property and debts
     1. How does the court decide who gets what?
     2. When we divorce, will the court divide all of our property and debts 50/50?
     3. How does the court decide what is a just and equitable division of property and debts?
     4. What if I have a Prenuptial Contract or Community Property Agreement?
     5. I bought our car and most other property with my income, so shouldn't the court award it to me?
     6. My spouse owned our house before our marriage, but we both paid the mortgage. Don't I get part of it?
     7. I think we need to sell our house, but my spouse disagrees. Can the court order us to sell the house?
     8. Is it true that I have no right to my husband's pension because he earned it?
     9. My spouse had an affair — the Divorce is my spouse's fault. Shouldn't I get more of the property?
   10. Since I'm not working right now, will the court order my spouse to pay me alimony?
   11. Important information about Marital Debts

Section 7:  Child Custody
     1. Who will get custody of our children?
     2. Who needs a Parenting Plan?
     3. How does the Parenting Plan affect my rights to see my children?
     4. How will the court decide who the children should live with?
     5. How will the court limit a parent's residential time if the court finds a Limiting Factor under the RCW?
     6. If none of the RCW Limiting Factors applies, how will the court decide who the children will live with?
     7. I want to have equal time with the children. Will the court order this?
     8. How will the court decide who should make important decisions about the children?
     9. What is Alternative Dispute Resolution and what does it have to do with the Parenting Plan?
   10. What if I want to move to a different state with the children?
   11. What if the wife is pregnant? May we still get a divorce?

Section 8:  Spousal Child Support
     1. What is Child Support?
     2. How is the Child Support amount established?

Who will get custody of our children?

As part of your marital dissolution, the court will decide which parent the children will live with the majority of the time (or whether they will live with each parent half of the time), how much time the children will spend with the other parent, who will make decisions about the children's schooling, medical care and other issues, and how the parents will resolve disagreements about the children in the future. 

The court will do this in a court order called a Parenting Plan. In Washington, the courts generally prefer not to use the words custody and visitation when talking about how much time each parent spends with a child, but will talk about the residential schedule and decision–making authority for the children. 

The way in which the court makes decisions about your temporary and permanent parenting plan is complicated. You should talk with an attorney about your specific case if at all possible.

Who needs a Parenting Plan?

If you and the other parent have one or more children together who are less than eighteen years old, you must fill out a parenting plan. If you were served with a petition and a parenting plan by the other parent and disagree with what the other parent is asking for, you need to file your own parenting plan so the court knows what you want. 

The court may enter a temporary parenting plan (that will cover the period while the dissolution is pending) and will enter a permanent parenting plan when your dissolution is finished.

How does the Parenting Plan affect my rights to see my children?

After a judge or court commissioner signs a parenting plan, it is a court order and both parents are required to follow it. If you don't follow the parenting plan, you could be found in contempt of court or even prosecuted for custodial interference unless you have a good excuse. 

A good excuse for not following an order would be if following it would cause serious harm to you or the child. And even in that situation, you cannot simply refuse to follow the court order; you must return to court to ask for a change in the order. Therefore, if you do not want to follow part of a parenting plan that has been ordered by the court, you should get the permission of the other parent in writing or you should contact an attorney. 

You should file an action to modify the parenting plan as soon as you can so that a new and more appropriate schedule is approved by the court. If you believe your child may be in danger, one option is to contact Child Protective Services, State of Washington Department of Social and Health Services (CPS).

How will the court decide who the children should live with?

Under Washington law, there are several factors that the court must consider when deciding who your children should live with. 

Reasons that one parent's time with the children may be restricted
The court must first consider whether there is a reason that one parent's residential time with the children should be limited, or whether that parent should be prevented from having any contact with the children. In most cases, the court must limit a parent's residential time with a child (and cannot order joint decision–making or alternative dispute resolution) if that parent, or a person who lives with that parent, has engaged in any of the following conduct:

• Willful abandonment of the children that continues for a long time, or the parent substantially refuses to perform parenting functions (care for the children); OR
• Physical, sexual or a pattern of emotional abuse of any child (whether it is your children or someone else's); OR
• A history of acts of domestic violence or an assault or sexual assault that causes serious bodily harm or the fear of such harm; OR
• Has been convicted as an adult of one of a number of sex crimes, including rape of a child, child molestation, sexual misconduct with a minor, incest, or sexual exploitation of children, or has been found to be a sexual predator.

In cases involving allegations of physical, sexual or emotional abuse or allegations of a history of domestic violence, "both parties shall be screened to determine the appropriateness of a comprehensive assessment regarding the impact of the limiting factor on the child and the parties."

The court may choose to limit a parent's residential time (and order that there will be no joint decision–making or alternative dispute resolution) if the court finds any of the following:

• The parent neglected or substantially failed to provide care for the children; OR
• The parent has a long-term emotional or physical problem that interferes with his/her ability to parent the children; OR
• The parent has a long-term drug, alcohol or other substance abuse problem that interferes with the parent's ability to parent the children; OR
• There is no emotional bond between the parent and the child or that bond is seriously damaged; OR
• That parent has engaged in the abusive use of conflict which has created a danger of serious damage to the child's psychological development; OR
• The parent has denied the other parent contact with the child for a long time without a good reason; OR
• The court finds another reason that unrestricted contact with the parent would be bad for the child.

How will the court limit a parent's residential time if the court finds a Limiting Factor
under the RCW?

If the court decides that a limiting factor applies to one or both parents, there are a variety of different restrictions the court may order. In most cases, the court will not allow the children to live the majority of the time with a parent to whom a limiting factor applies. 

In very serious cases, in which the court decides that no other limits will protect the child from harm, the court must order that the parent to whom the limiting factor applies may not have any contact with the child. In particular, there are very specific and detailed rules that the court must follow if a parent or a person who lives with a parent has been convicted of a sex crime against children, or has been found to have molested or otherwise harmed children in a civil case such as a dependency (CPS case). 

There are only very limited cases in which that parent may again have unsupervised contact with his/her child or children. If you or the other parent in your case have been convicted of such a crime, you should talk with an attorney.

In the parenting plan, the court may order any restriction that would be "reasonably calculated to protect the child from the physical, sexual or emotional abuse or harm that could result if the child has contact with the parent requesting residential time." The restrictions may also be "reasonably calculated to provide for the safety of the parent who may be at risk of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse or harm that could result if the parent has contact with the parent requesting residential time."

Some of the most common restrictions include requiring that parent to:

• See the children only when supervised by a professional supervisor or neutral third party;
• Complete domestic violence or substance abuse treatment;
• Submit to random drug or alcohol tests (often urinalysis or UAs);
• Complete a parenting class;
• Participate in mental health counseling or take any physician–prescribed medication for his/her mental health condition;
• Complete a sexual deviancy evaluation;
• Stop interfering with the other parent's contact with the children;
• Stop creating conflict or getting into disputes with the other parent without a good reason.

If none of the RCW Limiting Factors applies, how will the court decide who the children
will live with?

If none of the limiting factors applies, RCW 26.09.187 requires the court to consider a number of specific factors to decide on the residential schedule. The court's goal is to "encourage each parent to maintain a loving, stable and nurturing relationship with the child, consistent with each child's developmental level and the family's social and economic circumstances."

The most important factor that the court must consider is "the relative strength, nature and stability of the child's relationship with each parent." The court will also consider:

• Agreements of the parents, if they were entered knowingly and voluntarily;
• Each parent's past and future potential for parenting the children, including whether a parent has taken greater responsibility for performing parenting functions relating to the daily needs of the child;
• The emotional needs and developmental level of each child;
• The child's relationship with brothers and sisters and other adults important to the child, as well as the child's involvement with school, the child's activities & community;
• The parents' wishes;
• The child's wishes if the child is mature enough to give his/her opinion (the court will usually not consider the child's wishes until the child is a teenager);
• Each parent's work schedule. 

The residential provisions may contain any reasonable terms or conditions that facilitate the orderly and meaningful exercise of residential time by a parent including, but not limited to, requirements of reasonable notice when residential time will not occur.

Note that the court should give little weight to factors such as which parent earns more money or is going to remarry. Also, the court should not draw any presumptions from the temporary parenting plan when determining the provisions of a permanent parenting plan.

I want to have equal time with the children. Will the court order this?

The court may enter a parenting plan that gives each parent substantially equal residential time with the children. However, the court may not enter a parenting plan that requires a child to go back and forth between his/her parents' households for "brief and substantially equal periods of time" unless the provision is in the best interest of the child.

In determining whether such an arrangement is in the best interests of the child, the court may consider the parties' geographic proximity to the extent necessary to ensure the ability to share performance of the parenting functions.

How will the court decide who should make important decisions about the children?

In the parenting plan, the court will also decide which parent will make important decisions about the child. Either parent will be permitted to make emergency decisions about the child or may make day–to–day decisions (such as what the child will eat or who will baby sit the child) when the child is in that parent's residential care.

For non–emergency decisions, such as where the child will go to school, what doctors or other health care providers the child will see, when the child receives medical care, and what religious institution the child attends (if any), the court may allow one or both parents to make these decisions. The court must order that only one parent can make these non–emergency decisions if there is a limiting factor under RCW 26.09.191 against the other parent that requires that no joint decision–making can be ordered, or if both parents say that they do not want joint decision–making. 

The court may order sole decision–making to one parent if that parent disagrees with joint decision–making because:

1. one of the limiting factors under RCW 26.09.191 applies to the other parent;
2. the other parent does not have a history of participating in the decision–making about the children;
3. the parents do not have a demonstrated ability and desire to cooperate with each other in decision–making; or
4. the parents do not live close enough to each other to make joint decisions in a timely way.

Note that, in most cases, the court should treat decisions about the children's religious upbringing differently from decisions about school and medical care. Unless the court decides that the children may be harmed by being exposed to a parent's religious views, the court should allow each parent to provide the child with the religious instruction the parent chooses while the children are in that parent's residential care.

This would not be "joint" decision–making but would be each parent making decisions on that parent's residential time and not interfering with the other parent's decisions.

What is Alternative Dispute Resolution and what does it have to do with the Parenting Plan?

The parenting plan includes provisions that govern how you and the other parent will resolve disagreements about the parenting plan in the future. Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) refers to ways of solving disputes instead of going to court. 

For disagreements over parenting plans, you and the other parent may choose options other than going to court, such as counseling, mediation, or arbitration. If a limiting factor under RCW 26.09.191 applies to one parent, if the parents will not be able to participate in dispute resolution equally, or if one of the parents cannot afford alternative dispute resolution, the court should not order alternative dispute resolution but should just require the parents to return to court if they have disagreements about the parenting plan in the future.

Some people find that ADR can be helpful. If you choose counseling, you will typically meet with a mental health professional who will use counseling techniques to help you and the other parent solve your disagreement. 

If you choose mediation, you will meet with a mediator, who is a neutral third party who may be a lawyer, retired judge or court commissioner, or a mental health professional. The mediator will try to encourage you to come to an agreement. 

If you choose an arbitrator, you will meet with a neutral third party (often a lawyer, retired judge or court commissioner) who may try to help you reach agreement, but who will make a decision that you both must follow if you cannot reach agreement. If arbitration is ordered in your parenting plan, you will still have the right to file a motion with the court to ask for a review of the arbitrator's decision if you do not agree with it. 

You will need to pay a counselor, mediator or arbitrator in most cases, and the fees can be very expensive. However, ADR can also help you avoid the stress, expense and unpredictability of going to court.

What if I want to move to a different state with the children?

In 2000, the Washington State Legislature passed a new law about when and how one parent may move a child's residence when the parents don't live together and there is a parenting plan or other custody/visitation order in place. This made major changes to the law dealing with relocation and parenting plans. 

All parenting plans must now have language about what will happen if one of the parents wants to move (relocate). That language is part of the parenting plan form and cannot be changed or taken out, even if the other parent agrees. 

The new requirements include having to give the other parent notice before a move, giving the parent who is not moving a chance to object to the move, and being able to ask the court to change a parenting plan, including which parent the children will live with based on a parent's relocation.

What if the wife is pregnant? May we still get a divorce?

If the wife is pregnant and you want to end your marriage, you may file a Petition for Dissolution. However, you must tell the court that the wife is pregnant, but the court cannot use the wife's pregnancy as the sole basis for delaying entry of a decree of dissolution.

Any child that is born during your marriage or within 300 days after your Decree of Dissolution is entered, will be legally presumed to be the child of the husband even if it is not actually the husband's biological child. If there is a question about the paternity of the unborn child, the question should be resolved before the Decree of Dissolution is entered. 

One option is to file a motion to request genetic testing in your dissolution case to determine the paternity of the child. Either parent may file this type of motion. If you request genetic testing, the court may require that a Guardian ad Litem (GAL) be appointed for the unborn child for the purpose of investigating and deciding whether it is in the child's best interests for genetic testing to be done. 

Another option is for one spouse to contact the Division of Child Support. DCS can refer you to the family support section of the Prosecuting Attorney's office, which may file a parentage action in court to determine paternity of the child.

Washington law imposes strict time limits in which a presumed or acknowledged father may deny or challenge paternity. You should talk with an attorney to discuss what you should do.

What is Child Support?

Child Support is money paid by a parent to a party taking care of the children (usually, the other parent) to help support the children. The parent usually must pay child support monthly. The amount is based on the Washington State Support Schedule, and is set by taking into consideration the children's needs and both parents' incomes. 

A parent has a legal duty to help support his or her children. Thus, in most cases in which parents divorce, the parent with whom the children do not live most of the time will be required to pay child support to the other parent. Even if the parents each have 50% of the time with the children, one parent may be required to pay support to the other if there is a big difference in the amount of income each parent earns. 

A person may also have a legal duty to help support his or her stepchildren until a divorce from the child's parent is final or until there is an order relieving the stepparent of this obligation.

How is the Child Support amount established?

Child support is calculated based upon the income of both parents and the number and ages of the children, using the Washington State Child Support Schedule. It is a good idea to read through the Schedule so that you can understand all of the factors that the court will take into account when setting support.

The Schedule works somewhat like an income tax table — the court figures out each parent's income, adds it together, and finds the amount of support on the Schedule that applies to the number and ages of children that you have. Washington started using this schedule to try to ensure that children get enough support to meet their needs, and that parents who make similar amounts of money across the state pay or receive similar amounts of support.

It is important to know that the court's main concern in setting child support is to make sure that your children have enough money to meet their needs. Support is meant to pay not only for clothes and food, but to give the children a place to live (rent/mortgage and utilities) and assure they have adequate daycare and medical care. If the parents do not have enough money to meet the children's needs, the court also takes into account parents' ability to pay. 

Both parents may also be required to share costs for uninsured health care, day care, school tuition and long distance visitation expenses; how much each parent pays will be determined in proportion to their incomes and by considering the number of children living with them. The court may also award the federal income tax exemptions that each party is entitled to claim.

This Is Information, Not Legal Advice 
We are providing this information as a public service. We try to make it accurate as of the current date. Sometimes the laws change. We cannot promise that this information is always up–to–date and correct. Most of the information provided on this web site is specific to Washington State law.

We do not intend this information to be legal advice. By providing this information, we are not acting as your lawyer. If you need legal advice, you should contact a lawyer through your local legal aid organization. Always talk to a competent lawyer, if you can, before taking legal action.

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